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Spell Google with an F So You Can Fuck It

Google is a ravinshing piece of kunt turd. As time passed, more people figured out how to exploit it, and shit, it hasn’t evolved worth a damn. I insist nowadays it is completely fucking useless. I’ve even started using Bing, though so far it very rarely gives substantially better results—but at least it doesn’t show some fucking profile from some stupid ass forum that I haven’t logged in to in 45 years when I search my own name.

Today, though, Foogle takes the fucking cake. After printing about 3 pages over the last few months, the cocksucking HP C309 is starting to complain about low ink—on all five fucking cartridges. First, I think that’s fucking impossible because there is one black for “normal” and one for “photos”, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t print any god damn donkey fucking shit slitting pictures. Second, as I mentioned, the ink cartridges it comes with is just enough to print a cock sucking test page—which of course is printed at full quality, just like all other shit you print that goes straight to the fucking trash. So I bought the “XL” cartridges, which cost more, and, at the rate I print, should last until Jesus comes back to life again.

So back to Google. I search for “HP C309”, which is usually a good way of avoiding having to navigate Hunky Pooter’s website. I click on the first link, and it says I can get this printer for just 449 Noogie Zoonies. What the fuck? That’s right, Lord of the Rings fans. Google [America] thinks the most relevant link is the website for the printer in the New Zealand HP website. How in a cock donkey’s anus is that possible? First of all, there’s three people who live in New Zealand, and hopefully they found my reviews before they bought this piece of shit, so there’s no amount of incentive you can offer them to buy one of these jiggling paper weights.

On a side note:

Look, world, the United States invented the fucking Internet. Therefore, we don’t need to append “us” to our domain names. But all you fuckers should. That’s why there’s fucking country codes. Maybe then Google wouldn’t be so fucking confused.

Go to hell Google. Go to hell.

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