Skip to content

Category Archives: fuck me in the shit

These products made me bum-cuss.

Windows Media Center Review

05-Jul-11

Let me tell you something about Windows Media Center (WMC). WMC is a great fucking program to turn you fucking computer into a god-damned free TiVo. Scheduling information is free so anyone who charges for it can go fuck themselves. Also, it comes with Windows 7 so you can basically sit on your shitty couch […]

Gran Turismo 5

10-Apr-11

I was a big fan of Gran Turismo. Man, that was fucking amazing. I was a fan of all of them. Gran Turismo was really cool. Then in Gran Turismo 2 came out. We tuners lost the ability to see the power curve in the screen where the gear ratios are set, but we got […]

Craftsman 16-gal 6.5-peak hp Wet/Dry Vac

10-Apr-11

Dude. What the fuck. Do you fucking ass cocks actually vacuum anything? Have you ever seen a shop vac in your fucking lives? I’ve been crawling around some tight spaces with a vacuum very similar to this 6.5 whorepower, 16 shitlon unit. The difference is that the one I have doesn’t have a detachable blowjob […]

HP C309: Why Don’t You Suck on my Juicy Donkey Sphincter

07-Feb-10

Helwett Packard, I can’t believe what a fucking shit-soaked rag you are. I’m trying to print from my fucking laptop. So I go to download the driver. First, your website is a shit fuck. The OS list has shit like “Windows XP’ followed by “Windows XP Professional” and they link to different driver packages. What […]

Microsoft Windows Calculator Review – A Lesson in Product Evolution

24-Jan-10

The Microsoft Windows Calculator is an “old” product. I’ll be honest with you, I wasn’t old enough to want to use a calculator on the computer for most of its life. So this rant will concentrate on the Windows XP version and the Windows 7 version. Seeing as how Windows 7 was the first time […]

Microsoft Streets & Trips 2010 Review – A Lesson in Product Management

24-Dec-09

Today I’m writing about a subject very close to my heart—trip planning software. They all suck a donkey’s crusty scrotum. In this day and age I find it unbelievable that planning a road trip on a computer is so difficult. As much as this is a lesson in market segment size (I’m the only fucking […]

Wings Over Houston Airshow

08-Nov-09

The Wings Over Houston Airshow is truly a thorough experience. The air is thick with Jet A, fiery explosions serve as a backdrop for swooping fighter planes, and hoardes of fans circle their favorite aircraft in the blistering sun. But no airshow would be complete without the entire flying experience. That is why the organizers […]

Gmail is a Fucking Kunt Whore

26-Oct-09

Google, with their cute name, is as much of a disease as is Apple, who can’t make up their fucking minds about what cute name they should fucking use. Gmail is a great example of Google spreading too thin. They are all so fucking worried about learning trick pool or fucking ass-pong that they don’t […]

Spell Google with an F So You Can Fuck It

28-Sep-09

Google is a ravinshing piece of kunt turd. As time passed, more people figured out how to exploit it, and shit, it hasn’t evolved worth a damn. I insist nowadays it is completely fucking useless. I’ve even started using Bing, though so far it very rarely gives substantially better results—but at least it doesn’t show […]

Fuck You and Your Mother, HP C309

28-Jun-09

The HP C309 printer is driving me crazy. Maybe I don’t use it enough to learn its quirks? Is that excusable?